Thank you.

To the friends, family, co-workers, acquaintances, and strangers… thank you.

Thank you for dealing with the mood swings, the tears. The total unexpected.

Thank you for being so understanding and supportive in the most misunderstanding time of my life.

Thank you for reminding me that I am loved, cared for and not alone. Especially when I feel totally isolated and in the darkest, deepest hole. Thank you for reaching out constantly. Calling, texting, messaging.

Thank you for offering. Offering to bring dinner, to listen, to provide a hug. To help clean and do laundry. To come sit with me or go grocery shopping.

Thank you for pushing me to keep moving forward. For reminding me that life will get better.

For sending uplifting quotes and pictures.

For reminding me that it’s okay.

It’s okay to feel. It’s okay to feel sad. To feel lost. To feel confused. To feel happy.

It’s okay to feel. Its necessary to feel.

I have always been a weird mix of emotional, worrisome, but also closed off.

There are very few people I feel I can really open up to, and sometimes don’t even feel like i can open up to myself.

I don’t like to feel. I dont like to cry. I don’t like this new reality that people look at me and know I’m sad and struggling.

I’m a work in progress. I have good days and bad days, and am working to have many more good than bad. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.

To teach myself to feel, to really feel, has been the hardest, most fulfilling time of my life. It’s absolutely insane that with how shitty the last 10 months have been, they have turned around to show me the most growth and transformation so far in my 31 years.

To take the worry and emotions I’ve always fumbled with, and actually be able to identify and deal with them yas not only been life changing, but life saving.

Thanks to the friends and family who haven’t, and aren’t, giving up on me. The constant support is continuing to push me to embrace and to feel. To love myself and to know myself. To know that everyone has bad days and rough times. To know that everyone struggles. To know that if I sit on the floor and cry for an hour, I will actually feel better (weird, right?) And soon will be back jamming out to some embarrassing playlist in no time.

Thank you for making me laugh and showing me the light. Thank you for going through the dark times with me. The clouds are breaking and slowly I’m coming back.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

-J

2 thoughts on “Thank you.”

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