Girl you look good won’t you back that azz up

Backing up I did recently: My ass, dancing in the kitchen. My car, out of my parking spot.

Backing up I didn’t do recently: the 15 page start to my book. With all of my ideas, outlines, intro and some hard topics. (This happened a week before I publicly announced to the world that I decided it would be a good idea for me write a book. 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️)

I KNOW.

I work in IT. I should know better. I should have my stuff backed up, saved in the cloud, emailed to myself… whatever. But, I didn’t.

HARD LESSON LEARNED.

I got angry. At myself. At Windows for releasing a broken update that crashed my computer. At the universe. At my GPS for not taking me past Shake Shack after spending hours at the Microsoft store (they were so nice and helpful, btw.) I just got angry.

I literally poured my heart and tears into those pages. I know 15 pages doesn’t sound like a lot, but it was. Trust me. Single spaced, 11 point font. Full of some deep, dark shit. Some great one-liners and jokes. So many ideas. I wrote kick-ass intro to the book. I had sample fonts that I liked. For me being me, I was impressed with how dedicated and into it I was.

Since that dreadful day, I haven’t been able to get myself to write much at all, and havent even attempted to restart the book. I went out and got index cards and a notebook to dedicate to book writing. I’ve tried different coffee shops and bars. I’ve tried every room of my house. I just can’t get my groove back. (Hey Stella, any tips on that?)

The thing is, I know I can do it. Yes, I doubt myself a lot. Yes, I generally lack self-confidence. That’s all true. But, I also have learned to push myself. I get things done because they have to. I figure it out. If the past year has taught me anything, it’s that. I need to give myself more credit. I had 15 great pages before and I know I can do 100 better ones. I just need to find that spark again to do it.

So, bigger life lesson other than backing up your computer. When life knocks you down, get back up. Push harder. Prove to yourself above anyone else that you can do it. I don’t think the universe is trying to talk me out of writing the book, I think it’s pushing me to write a better one.

Let me leave you with some wise words from a true poet:

“I get knocked down, but I get up again. You are never gonna keep me down.”

Chumbawamba

Go Birds!

-J

2 thoughts on “Girl you look good won’t you back that azz up”

  1. Yikes.. Unfortunate.. I went to staples a while back and bought a back-up drive. The words will come back- maybe better and with more purpose because every single one will count from now on. Looking forward to your progress..

    Liked by 1 person

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