Clowns, geese, and Carson Wentz’s health

What do all of these things have in common?

THINGS I AM TERRIFIED OF.

Fear is a funny thing. The more I think about it, and the more I talk to people about it, I reaffirm the fact that we live in a very fear-driven society. We let it take hold of little, and big, parts of our lives. We have nightmares. We joke about it. We avoid people, places, and situations because of it.

Ironically people tell me that I am “fearless” because I skydive, live on my own, and open myself up in blogging. In reality, I am chock full of fear.

Fear can be tangible. Something we can feel, and touch. Like geese. They are tricky little assholes. And clowns. Dear God, fucking clowns. My mom dressed my sister and I up as clowns for Halloween when were in pre-school or kindergarten and I hated it. Yes, the homemade costume was cute. And i remember the pom-poms on the costume. But, clowns. They are terrifying. Happy? No. Yes, the IT movies are cinematic masterpieces. But then I’m terrified Pennywise is going to pop out of my sink or shower for the next few weeks (okay months) so… yeah. It’s great. As you can imagine Halloween time is fun for me.

I’m the photogenic one on the right with my eyes closed in fear and protest. But, look how cute the homemade costume was. And those bangs…..

Okay, let’s reel it back in.

Fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of being alone. Fear of disappointing others. Fear of disappointing ourselves. Something I think many of us share. Fact about me: I meet someone, we maybe go on one or two dates and I immediately make up a million “red flags”, aka totally bogus reasons as to why it won’t work out. I give into my fears of rejection and truly becoming a single spinster cat lady by rejecting myself before someone else can. (Hey, I’m fearful, not logical.)

Another fear of mine is vulnerability…. I guess I blew that one out of the water by writing this blog, huh?

I’m constantly trying to overcome my fears. How do I do this you ask? Well, for starters, by not crying and throwing my phone when I see a picture or video of a clown. Also, by not running the other way when I see a few geese at the park. But, let’s not talk about Carson. #trusttheprocess #yougetwhereiamgoingwiththis #gobirds

Just catching a Sixers game with my friend.

As much as I am trying to face my own rational (and irrational) fears, I know so many others are too. I love to encourage and support my friends and family in all they do. Especially when it comes to facing, and crushing, their own fears.

My best friend has a very real fear of flying. It’s been about 7 years and got to the point that she got off off a plane before the doors shut because her fear took control. This not only happened to her once, but twice. She finally decided that enough was enough. There is an airport not too far from where we live, and each year they do a Pennies-a-pound event, where you basically pay $40 and get to go for a plane ride in a small aircraft. All of the money raised goes to an organization that supports women pilots, which is amazing. #girlpower. She asked me if I wanted to go with her to support her in overcoming her fear, and my answer went something like this…. “YES YES YES YES YES”. I am so honored and excited to be asked to be part of such a big moment in her life. Today we went to the airport, talked to some pilots and went on an amazing airplane ride. AND SHE DID AMAZING. No panic. No backing out. Just crushing and taking control of her fears. She even wants to go back tomorrow. Did I mention she tried to do this 2 years ago but chickened out? If this isn’t inspiring, I don’t know what is.

So proud of her after the flight!

I think we all need to be a little more like her. Pick a fear, and find a way to control it, instead of letting it control us.

Happy fear killing, friends!

Go Birds!

-J

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