The many trials… and many failures

I don’t have the best track record for sticking with things. Diets, exercise plans, TV shows… I just can’t seem to get my shit together long enough to really see things through. Maybe I haven’t found “the one” in that aspect, which is why. Or maybe it wasn’t working? Or maybe I’m full of excuses and bullshit? (Likely the case). If I’m being honest, I’m shocked that I’ve made it this far with my writing (Hey! Maybe I did finally find my thing!… If only it would solve ALL of my problems!)

Over the years I have tried approximately 69,420 things to cure, maintain, and manage my physical and mental health. A few things have helped, but nothing really gave significant results. Granted, a lot of this is due to me not following through on things (like diet and exercise). But, mainly I’ve had many failed doctors and medications. Since modern day medicine isn’t helping, I decided to start from basics. My diet. I hate the word diet. As long as I can remember, I’ve hated the way I look. I’ve never been happy and comfortable with my weight, so mentally when I tell myself I’m on a “diet”, I immediately just tell myself I’m going to fail. I’m my own worst enemy.

That’s why I’m going into with a different mindset this time.

I’m not going on a “diet”. I’m not doing this for the sole purpose of losing weight to look better in my jeans (although, I won’t be mad if that happens). I’m doing a lifestyle shift. I’m not telling myself I can’t have anything, but I’m going to remind myself that there are some things I probably am better off without. And, the golden rule…. everything in moderation. I’m doing this knowing that my life, my health, and my future depends on making small, conscious, healthier choices.

Not only am I banking on this to increase my physical health, but also my mental health. By eating better, I know mentally I’ll feel sharper and hopefully get rid of some of that “fibro fog”. The book I’m using as a guide even breaks the weeks out:

  • Week 1: Pain Management
  • Week 2: Gaining Energy
  • Week 3: Fighting the Brain Fog
  • Week 4: Promoting Healthy Digestion

My life will benefit greatly from improvements in these 4 areas, so I’m actually excited to give it a shot. Nervous, and terrified, but excited overall. I’ve been to countless doctors and have had so many procedures and tests over the years for these 4 areas, that I don’t only want, but need to make positive changes. I need something to work. I need a miracle. (I need to be my own miracle, really.) I need to prove to myself once and for all that I am capable of generating my own happiness. And, becoming healthy is the place to start.

*Shout-out to my friends recently who have been talking to me about your own journeys with changing your diet for better health (for various reasons) – you guys really inspired me to really tackle this!*

My plan is to start Sunday. I already have my week 1 menu planned, and even made an organized shopping list. I really don’t even know myself right now. If anyone else wants to join in for accountability, let me know! I’d love to share my menu! (There is more per week than I’m doing, but I’m one person so I’m planning more leftovers than the guide calls for).

I know I won’t be 100% with it. And that’s fine. But, I plan to be conscious of what I’m eating and drinking, which is a huge change for me. I’m also going to track what I’m eating, and note any changes in my symptoms.

So, please hold me accountable. Encourage me. Cheer me on. Pray I finally get some sleep.

Thanks for the support!

-J